Today has been ok, I’m up and about these days – have been for a month or so, but it’s been starting to wane. I think the poor sleep is the issue here. My plan, to help with my healing is to eat better (again). I’ve been researching and researching and reading and rereading and I think I know what I want for all of us. First off is Yogi, she needs healing before she becomes truly ill, for now she is just weak, and not thriving in the way she should.
Yogi has proven to be very intolerant of both wheat and dairy – although when I say dairy we have established it’s the lactose not the milk protein, which is a good thing as she was really really missing cheese and butter. The biggest problem with her is that since being poorly repeatedly she doesn’t really like food anymore – and she never did like it much anyway. She gets hungry, she really wants to eat but there isn’t anything that appeals to her. She won’t eat pretty much any vegetable anymore – which is a shame as we’ve yet to see a vegetable cause a negative dietary reaction. She’s almost reached the point of no veg at all. She agrees to have things on her plate, i.e. she says yes please I’ll have tomatoes/pineapple/carrots but then when it comes to eating them she’s full up and leaves them. I didn’t realise it was happening until very recently when I finally saw it. The only meat she’ll happily eat is sausages and bacon, chicken she is picky about but manages some mouthfuls. She does like the paleo meatloaf I make and I do manage to sneak mushrooms in there. That is pretty much the sum total of the foods she’ll eat (that are ‘healthy’, she’ll eat crisps and gluten free bread, and cake and soya yoghurts), I have convinced her that she needs some vitamins and so she’s taking a multivitamin and I found a childrens cod liver oil capsule. Unfortunately she can’t swallow the cod liver oil capsule so she chews it. How can a child that thinks beetroot is disgusting chew cod liver oil capsules? I tried one to see how bad it was, and it was bad, she does have a small spoonful of honey afterwards but still…. yuck.
So my newest endeavour is to find ways to disguise the foods that she won’t eat. I only want to disguise them before her first try, with the meatloaf I told her it had mushrooms and onions in it and she hasn’t forgotten but she loves it. Once she has eaten a hidden food a few times I will happily tell her the exact ingredients – when Ed is feeling generous she makes a chocolate mousse using avocados, Yogi knows it’s made with avocado but she eats it because she was convinced of it’s loveliness before she discovered what was in it. One problem I have is that our ancient dying food processor is struggling. It has a tiny motor and just really doesn’t have the ability to do what it needs to do but for now it will have to continue struggling, we do not have the means to replace it yet, unless we replace it with something that isn’t up to what we need it to be up to. I need something that can produce deliciously smooth smoothies that Yogi cannot feel the kale in, smooth chocolate nut butters that have no crunchy bits, perfectly lumpless soup bases full of hidden goodness. Today she ate ‘waffles’, eating the waffles she ate two whole eggs without knowing it. I had to work hard though, first the food processor roughly chopped everything into a weird, lumpy paste then I used the stick blender to do what I could, luckily the only thing I was trying to make smooth was raisins so the ones and bits of ones she found were acceptable, had they been bits of beetroot, or carrot, or pumpkin things would have ended very differently. I think tomorrow I’ll try the same again, if I can face the thought of the mountains of washing up created by using these two separate appliances.
So that is my initial mission, to get something nutritious in to Yogi, something that she enjoys eating. She’s pale, her skin sometimes looks almost transparent, she tires easily, she’s full of mucous, she cries so often, and it’s usually tiredness or hunger that sets her off but convincing her to eat is difficult. I try to imagine a summer of kale filled smoothie ice lollies, carrot cakes, pumpkin waffles and cassava root ravioli – nothing whole and pure but I’ll take whatever I can get with her. (Boo will eat anything except chick peas, kidney beans and I haven’t convinced her to try liver – but she’ll eat any fish or shellfish you put in front of her, any vegetable, any meat, she’ll try any drink, any food)
Tonight I leave you with Millie